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What The Hell Do We Do At Fashion Week?

When a minivan becomes our office for the week. In case you've ever wondered what the hell people do at this thing called "fashion week", here's our own blow-by-blow.

Still confused as to why hundreds, possibly thousands of people flock to New York, London, Milan and Paris twice a year to watch clothes walk down the runway? We’re not sure if you asked, but we’re sharing with you exactly what we mean when we say “we’re at fashion week”. Mom, are you reading this? The day in question is the second day of Milan Fashion Week, also known to all as the first of the two crazy days of the season. We documented – well, tried to document, anyway – everything from the first order of business after we muster enough energy to get out of bed to the last morsels of food we ate. Let’s go.

7:15 AM: The first show is at 9.30AM – which means it won’t start until about 10AM – but we like to get up extra early so we can take our own sweet time to sip some tea. Das just how we roll. As it is the first of the two crazy days on the schedule, we order a huge breakfast so we don’t pass out from low blood sugar later.

09:20 AM: We’re at MaxMara, our first show of the day, and we are so early we deserve gold star stickers. The venue is different from the last two seasons, giving all a good view of the collection. Good on you, Max Mara.

10:10 AM: The show’s on. We spot Gigi Hadid and Elsa Hosk alongside OGs Natasha Poly and Lily Donaldson. Halima Aden is also in the mix.

10:45 AM: Off to Diesel Black Gold’s showroom for a fitting. Yoyo ultimately decides on a mini trench coat (which she turned into a dress) and a tiny little bag.

11:30 AM: We have a small pocket of time before Fendi, so we zip back to the hotel to eat what’s left of our bread basket from breakfast. Because we are just so on the ball, we manage to shoot something for Bulgari. Yoyo makes a quick change into her next look. I eat a muffin and drink some spinach juice, which Yoyo thinks is disgusting. It’s good for you, okay?

12:15 PM: WE ARE ON A ROLL TODAY. We are the first to enter the wooden show space at Fendi, which naturally means flatlays on the runway.

1:00 PM: The show starts and immediately we’re swooning. Those red boots on Bella Hadid are EVERYTHING. Fendi’s take on the season has a street edge to it and we are digging it a hundred percent. I only ever wear circle sunglasses, so I think Fendi’s new sunglasses are my best friends.

2:00 PM: A quick visit to Attico’s Fall/Winter 2017 presentation, where we bump into Tiffany Hsu and Net-a-Porter’s Lisa Aiken. Robes, slinky dresses, mules – I’ve got my eye on so many things. Here’s a closer look, so you can understand what I’m getting at.

2:20 PM: We’re back into our mobile wardrobe/office/car as I upload some photos while Yoyo changes back to her first outfit for Emilio Pucci. Animal crackers for sustenance.

3:00 PM: Punctuality is our word of the day because we arrive on the dot for Pucci, which by fashion standards is very early. Spotted our homeh Evangelie’s seat!

3:25 PM: Massimo Giorgetti’s amps up the drama with fringe in almost blinding neon. There were the classic Pucci printed suits in the mix.

4:30 PM: We zip away to a resee at Gucci Hub. The showroom’s gorgeous, but it is far. Early is good. In case you need to take a closer look – and I really think you should – click here.

6:10 PM: Yoyo makes a quick change to her second to last – not last! – look for the day while I try to upload photos from the Gucci resee as our minivan totters through the cobbled streets of Milan. Bouncing laptops and all. By the way, feather sleeves? We think you should try it.

6:15 PM: I discuss The Book of Mormon with Elle Singapore’s Daryl while we wait for the show to start. The set is mad cool that everyone’s all over the place snapping photos for Instagram. Some of the seats were on fluffy beds.

6:45 PM: The show begins. You can hear the occasional gasp from the crowd even amid the runway music. Very cool audio with bits of Beethoven’s Fifth. When the silk dresses, beaded flapper-esque pieces, headed leather boots and feather winter hats comes out, everyone’s basically dying.

7:10 PM: Miuccia Prada takes her bow and the crowd is cheering and on their feet. You know what we think? We think you need to see the collection in full detail here.

7:30 PM: Back to the hotel yet again for Yoyo’s final change, this time for Moschino: a parka dress with a tulle train, gloves and a beret. So army.

7:50 PM: The crowds outside Moschino can get quite insane and we almost always have the squeeze our way through. Like, compressed and imagine you are a noodle strand kind of squeeze. Moschino’s wins the zaniest invite of the season as usual. (It’s a piece of paper made to look like cheese and then stuck into a wooden mouse trap.)

8:00 PM: We get a quick picture in because the crowds are still rolling in.

8:30 PM: The show is about to start and the runway looks as though the pre-show covers have been left on. All intentional of course, because the whole “thrash” and “recycled” idea is the theme of the show. After a series of paper bag inspired post-war dresses, Anna Cleveland does her usual practice of dancing her way down the runway. She quite literally wraps herself in a red curtain hanging at the start of the runway, pulls it off and continues walking. The curtain is her dress! Category is…Scarlett O’Hara on a visit to Rhett Butler in jail!

8:45 PM: Anna Cleveland was followed by everything from dresses made from watches on Bella Hadid to one entirely made of leather gloves on Molly Bair. Kendall Jenner looks eerily like Kris Jenner in that suit. The show ends with Jeremy Scott running down the whole length of the runway in a t-shirt that reads “Couture is an attitude, not a price point.”

9:05 PM: We’re finally done. We’re finally done. We’re finally done. We end the day at Pulia, which apparently serves one of the best burrata in Milan. Uh, don’t mind if I do. And yes, the burrata is pretty damn good.

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