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The Hilarious (But Slightly Sad) Truth About Tinder

According to our new Love & Relationships columnist, Min G a.k.a. @girlwhocriedwolf. Here, she talks about managing expectations.

Dear readers of YOYOKULALA.com, it’s Min (@girlwhocriedwolfand I am here to dish out all my dirt on love, relationships and everything else in-between. Get ready, because this column is going to be your new guilty pleasure. It is going to be no-holds-barred, brutally honest and hella entertaining. You have been forewarned – I am no expert or love guru, and just to put it out there, I am also currently single AF. But hey, given my dating portfolio (which I am pretty proud of if I may add), I may know a thing or two.

I have no shame when it comes to dating or sharing about it. I mean, let’s be real, we all date and have a good time (whatever that entails). For starters, I am on Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel. If you are unfamiliar with the latter, it is essentially a more serious, “adulting” version of Tinder, and users on it are definitely more interested in searching for their life partners as opposed to “DTF?” and “Christmas sex?” introductions. FYI, those are legitimate opening liners I have received on Tinder and they are already the more PG ones. And full disclosure, I do not respond to those – I am way classier than that. For the most part, I hardly ever match with men on Coffee Meets Bagel, or use it actively because well, I am not looking for my life partner and the conversations are way too serious for my liking or time. But if that’s your thing, you now know where to go.

Why am I on Tinder, you might ask. Well, why not? I am single, I love meeting new people (of the opposite sex especially) and I have also probably exhausted all the dateable men within my IRL social circles. I know how that sounds and what you are thinking – I haven’t been round the block, and there are only about five guy friends that I would actually consider dating or have dated. Tinder is an endless catalogue of men of every kind and it truly is a magical escape for nights when you feel that loneliness creeping in (real talk, it happens) and you just want someone interesting to banter with. Of course, it should all be done in good fun and not be taken seriously. That’s the thing though, you have to be in the right headspace while being on the app and manage your own expectations. You know, keep yourself in check from time to time, because trust me, there is a lot of meaninglessness disguised as fun. But lucky for me, I know what I don’t want, which is a serious relationship, so that makes it a lot easier to navigate through this abyss of f-boys and like-minded people who are just looking to socialise and have a good time.

Just so you know, most of the men are below average looking  with really bad profile pictures – and that is an understatement. By “most”, I mean all 99% of them. Take that with a pinch of salt though, I have high standards and specifics with how I like my men to look. But you have to push through to get to the 1%. (You can do it, work them fingers girl.) Just keep swiping left and I promise you, there are bound to be a few who would pique your interest enough for you to swipe right. You are going to get a mixed fun bag of weirdos, sleazebags, travellers looking for locals to show them around, fake profiles, doms looking for subs (ewww, but their profiles have the most entertainment value), a handful of genuine people and ghosts. Ugh, ghosting is so real when it comes to Tinder. Finding someone new is literally just a few swipes away, so most connections that you form on the app are short-lived and go from 0-100-0 real quick. But that’s okay, because remember, all that matters really is what works to your advantage and the convenience of it all. You just gotta keep that in mind and keep it real with yourself.

I bet you are all curious, so I’ll spill the beans a little. To date, I have met up with a number of guys and well, the entire experience thus far has been very interesting, to say the least. Thanks to Tinder, I now have a whole other social circle of dudes with whom I just click with. Platonically (yes, that is possible), a couple of short love affairs, fewer lonely nights, a lot of laughs and funny as hell stories to tell. And tell I most definitely will, but let’s save those for the future. All in all, these are priceless interactions that I wouldn’t have experienced IRL and with that, Tinder’s a definite “yay” and not “nay” for me, a thousand times over.

P.S.: If you’re worried about being inundated with unsolicited dick pics, don’t be. Tinder doesn’t have a file sharing feature on the app. Also, this article was not sponsored by Tinder.

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