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Bleah-Free (But Easy!) Stuff To Bring To Your Potluck Party

Forget store-bought roast chicken and pizza because they boring. If I can make a chocolate salami, you can make a chocolate salami.
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I’m not great at potluck parties. While part of it is to do with the convenience of store-bought food, the bulk of my problem stems from the fact that I am basically hopeless in the kitchen. One year, I brought no-brainer crabstick sandwiches to a Christmas party. People said it was good, but it really was a case of boiling, mixing and spreading. The next year, I decided to up my game by making cupcakes. From a box. The cupcakes – which, I repeat, came from a box – didn’t even rise properly and the icing – again, from a box – was all drippy. Last year, I just gave up and bought doughnuts.

Oh, Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, is there no hope for me? Am I doomed to bring basic food to the Christmas table? Will I always be the designated buyer of store-bought chicken and pizza while my better peers bring their oven-roasted and crockpot creations?

No, I refuse to resign to my fate. I REFUSE! *shakes an angry fist at the sky* Especially since I discovered the existence of something called chocolate salami. Nigella Lawson has a recipe for that, but I modified mine from Jamie Oliver’s chocolate fridge cake. I made it just recently and damn, I did good. Even my mom – who knows I can’t cook and hence approaches anything I make with caution – said it was “not bad”. I’ll take it, mom, I’ll take it.

If a recipe for the non-basic-but-easy chocolate salami exists, surely there must be more like it, right? YES, yes there are. These s’mores treats, a sure hit anywhere in any century and in any world, take only 15 minutes. So does this ooey-gooey no-bake Oreo pie and these candy cane fudge blocks.

I’m sure you’ve seen this fancy pull-apart garlic loaf everywhere. So easy you can basically do it blindfolded. Need a fancy cuppa that you can sip with your pinkie out? Red wine hot chocolate is a thing, you guys. Holy Christmas nuts.

The one that really takes the cake – well, no-bake cake in my case – is this potato chip and pretzel fudge. Oh, what did you say you brought to the potluck? Asparagus sticks wrapped in bacon? I brought fudge made out of potato chips. Bam. *drops mic*

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